Soldier

We had just gotten married a few weeks before he got the call. It was time for him to pack up and leave for six months. I knew this was going to happen, but I still chose to marry him because he was my love, just like his love was his job and myself.

I remember helping him pack up his stuff. I was devastated. I had just gotten pregnant and he wouldn't be able to watch me grow with our baby because it was his time to go and serve for our country again. When it was time for him to leave, I took him to the airport and we kissed before he whispered, "I love you" by my stomach. He gave me one last kiss before walking away. He turned back and looked at me and that's when the tears started. I waved before turning away, not wanting him to see my tears. I knew that I would see him again. He would be back three months before our baby would be born and he would stay with us and love us.

As the months passed, my stomach got bigger and my longing for him grew. My younger sister moved into my home so I wouldn't be alone just in case anything were to happen to myself or my child. He was on tour in Afghanistan and we had no way of contacting each other except through letters. I mailed him a note every week as I shared the details of what he was missing in our little town. I made sure to send him photos of my doctor’s visits with the ultrasounds of our child. Before he left, we had planned on waiting for him to come home before learning if we were having a daughter or a son.

By the sixth month, I began to worry. I was 24 weeks along and I wasn't receiving any letters from him. I assumed he was just busy as the tour was almost over but my pregnancy hormones made me believe something tragic had happened.

My sister knew how worried and scared I was so when she checked the mail on September 4th and saw a handwritten letter she ran to me. I remember quickly opening it and discovering that it wasn't my husbands handwriting. I fell to the floor and cried out. Word came through in a letter- from his friend who was in the same group as him. He wanted to be the first to tell me so it wouldn't be unexpected when I heard a knock on the door.

When the next day came, I was laying in bed with his pillow in my arm when I heard a knock. I knew what the knock signified. I slowly got out of bed and opened the door. There were two soldiers waiting on the doorstep with a flag in one of their arms.

"I'm so sorry," they had whispered to me as I fell onto the ground while holding my stomach. My sister came out of her room and ran towards me as she held me up and hugged me. She told me to go back into my room as she took the flag from the soldiers and thanked them for their service.

I didn't leave my room for a few days after the soldiers came. He was gone and wouldn't be coming back. My heart couldn't handle it. We hadn't been married long before he was told to leave. He was so young and died too soon. We had so much to do together and I had to do it all alone. There was an envelope on the tv stand in our room and I couldn't stop staring at it. I remember getting up out of bed and tearing it open before my hand came to my mouth as I gasped.

We were having a boy. As I learned the news, I couldn't help but feel excited but sad at the same time. My husband wouldn't get to meet his son. He wouldn't get to teach him how to fix up a car or how to be a gentlemen. My son wouldn't have his dad and that broke my heart. I would be the one to teach him how to drive and how to treat girls. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it alone.

It was a struggle when he was born. My sister stayed with me and helped as much as she could until she got married and moved away with her husband. As he got older, he started to ask questions about his father; why everyone at school had one but he didn’t. I told him that his dad was a soldier who left to save lives although it killed him. My son was six years old when he told me he wanted to ‘be like daddy.’ I always thought he would change his mind as he got older.

I've been a single mother for twenty five years. My son has gotten married to a beautiful girl and he treats her right. He plans on enlisting soon, to be like his father. I know it'll hurt his wife and myself but it's something he needs to do. It's the way for him to learn about his father. I may have been the one to teach my son how to ride a bike and how to shave but his father has always been right besides us. He will be remembered forever.